How to produce a bad FMA OC
by I-Am-Special-Hear-Me-Roar
Summary: Just a little guide to help you avoid those writing pitfalls in FMA fanfiction. It's my contributation to the good of the world. Now with Mary Sue test!
1. Chapter 1

-1How to write a bad OC fic- FMA

_The stuff written in itallics is what I really mean, the rest of it is pretty obviously a pee-take._

Step 1) Come up with a really irritating character name, some examples? Ok. Try any character with the last name 'Elric', 'Cirle', 'Wolf', 'Dark', 'Black' and so on. These names are worse if paired with names like 'Angel', 'Phoenix', 'Raven' and 'Tsuki' (and lots of other Japanese names like Tsuki that mean things like moon, night rain and snow) _There's nothing wrong with these names, only they stick out like a sore thumb in the world of FMA. Why hardly anyone has a Louise Morgan or Cassie Gardner I do not know._

Step 2a) Optional. (Also see step 2b/2c/2d below). Give your character a past more painful than Ed and Al's. Let's have her try out human transmutation, lose an arm, _two_ legs and a little sister. Oh, and she was beaten by her father, that too...that should give her a chance to angst. _Sure, tragic pasts happen, but for once just write about a less over the top one eg; Louise Morgan's father died when she was very small but her mother is still alive and Louise is a well adjusted and happy individual. Not some angsty whining permanent victim of the world._

Step 2b) Optional. Relate your OC to canon characters already in existence. Since the Elric's past is trawled extensively you're going to have to really force your little Amaya Elric into the time line with a lot of effort. Why not say that they were separated after a terrible accident? That's very original and allows for buckets of angst. _Seriously, don't even __**think **__about giving canon characters siblings, it really is criminal. I don't care how good you are at writing, it just isn't right or possible._

Step 2c) Optional. Make your character a homunculus. All the sins are gone, so why not make up some of your own? No one's used Depression as a sin yet, oh, and how about Sadism? Your character can either pair up with Envy or bravely break the barrier between good and evil and pair up with Ed. _Pul-leeeeeze don't do this. There are only seven cardinal sins, a couple of regular sins being blasphemy and having an inappropriate relationship with an animal. Not good homunculi. The series uses __**only**__ the cardinal sins, so stick to those. If you really want a homunculus character then you'll have to write fics in which the original homunculi are dead._

Step 2d) Optional. Why not make your character a chimera? That way she can be a cat, wolf or fox girl, how cool. _Yes, cat ears are cute, but they don't belong in FMA. No one would bother making a cat chimera, chimeras are only really made for war and only the best alchemists can make them well. Think about it, sure Law had horns, but aside from that there was no way to tell what the hell he was fused with, it'd be one heck of an alchemist who fashioned a perfect cat girl. It's become almost taboo to make cat girl chimeras now so it's best avoided._

Step 3) Give your character abilities surpassing those of the canon characters. For example a miss Raven Cirle becomes a state alchemist aged ten and can transmute without a circle. _Sure, your character can have skills, but try and balance it, okay? Why not have a character named Louise Morgan who makes fairly good automail but can't perform alchemy? Or a Cassie Gardner who is a budding alchemist who still has a lot to learn and no state alchemist certification?_

Step 4) Now that your character has an identity, let's make her even more special. Christen her with a super cool alchemist name, here are a few examples; The Blood Rose alchemist, The Pale Snow alchemist, The Dragon Flame alchemist. _If you do this, your character is plummeting into the depths of Sue-hood. Just give him or her a nice explanatory name akin to 'The Strong arm' alchemist or Flame alchemist. No Blood Tear Alchemists. Ever._

Step 5) The next step is to infatuate the canon characters with your blossoming Sue. Edward Elric is obviously going to go head over heels for your uber special, uber awesome Mary Sue. He always does. Here's how your story should go;

Raven Cirle meets Edward and they fight a little, then their feeling develops and you can have them do a nice mushy kiss together by the end of the third chapter, oh, but remember they have to blush a lot when they're around each other.

Sound good? Well, possibly hundreds of writers think so. _But they're wrong. It doesn't make good reading, it's been done to death so let it rot. Why not, just for once, do a plot where Ed doesn't fall in love with your character? He may be male and she may be female, but that doesn't mean he'd go for her._

Step 6) Your character is soooo awesome, right? Then why not have her save the day, every time! _Well, think about it, the plot to FMA is very complex with no __**real **__heroes and no real winners, so just keep it that way. The storyline is modelled on complexities we find in our own world, so just stick with that kind of idea. Your OC is not always going to save the day, __**no one **__is that special._

Well, offhand I can't think of anything else, but remember these few things that belong in no fic;

1) Japanese terms and words such as '-chan', 'arigato', 'neko' and the prolifically used 'kawaii'. Use these words only if your _entire _fic is written in Romanised Japanese, which it probably isn't. If you do use them in an English fic then they make _no _sense, it's just a Japanese word used randomly by people speaking English.

2) Mary Sues. You'll know you've got a Sue if everyone loves her, she's beautiful, talented and magical. Often she'll have and angsty past too.

3) Song lyrics. It's just plain annoying to have to scroll through page after page of rubbish song lyrics. Yeah, they mean something to you, but to your readership they're just getting in the way of your storytelling.

That's it for now, I hope this helps people out in some way. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.


	2. The 'Is My OC A Mary Sue' test

-1Fullmetal Alchemist- The 'Is My Character A Mary Sue' test

Since I appear to be making a difference, I will continue to add stuff to my guide. Now, a lot of people ask 'what is a Mary Sue?', but what they should really be asking is 'Is my character a Mary Sue?'- that question can be answered! I have formulated a little FMA based test. And, by the way, the point is _not_ to score highly. The questions are in no particular order, but I can change that if I need to. ALL feedback is appreciated (this includes flames).

Question 1) Is your character a state alchemist? _If 'yes' continue to read question, if 'no', move onto next question. _At what age was your character certified as a State Alchemist?

A) 12 or younger (5 points)

B) 12-15 (3 points)

C) 15-18 (2 points)

D) 18-20 (1 point)

E) 20 + ( 0 points)

Question 2) Can your character transmute without a transmutation circle?

A) Yes (3 points)

B) No (0 points)

Question 3) Is your character in love with any of the canon characters?

A) Yes (5 points)

B) No (0 points)

Question 4) Is you character any kind of long lost relation to any canon characters?

A) Yes (5 points +2 if that was why you answered 'No' to the last question)

B) No (0 points)

Question 5) Are multiple characters in love with your character (unrequited love counts too, your character doesn't have to love them back)? _If 'yes' continue to read question, if 'no', move onto next question. _If so, how many? (remember to add this to your score for question 3- don't take one score and ignore the other one)

A) 5+ (5 points + 1 extra point for each person in love with them)

B) 4 (4 points)

C) 3 (3 points)

D) 2 (2 points)

E) 1 (1 point)

Question 6) Does all the attention from other characters often put you character in peril or awkward situations?

A) Yes (3 points)

B) No ( 0 points)

Question 7) Is your character a goth/emo despite the fact that that look did not exist in 1910?

A) Yes (5 points)

B) No (0 points)

Question 8) Does you character have any of the following:

A) A traumatic past? (5 points)

B) A past he/she cannot remember? (5 points)

C) A past involving any of the canon characters? (5 points)

D) A past similar to that of a canon character? (5 points)

E) A happy past with complete normalcy? (-5 points)

Question 8) Is your character any of the following:

A) A cat-girl/boy? (4 points)

B) A chimera? ( 3 points + the 4 from above if their cat-ish appearance is due to being a chimera)

C) A homunculus? ( 3 points)

D) An angel? ( 5 points)

E) Any kind of magical being? ( 5 points)

Question 9) Is your character in possession of powers greater than those of canon characters?

A) Yes (5 points)

B) No (0 points)

Question 10) And does your character use these amazing powers to save/harm any canon characters?

A) Yes (3 points +2 if the character saved was Ed and +3 if they killed any 'evil' characters)

B) No (0 points)

Question 11) If your character is male do any male canon characters turn gay to be with him? _If you character is a girl, move on to the next question._

A) Yes (5 + 1 point for every extra gay character)

B) No (0 + 3 if your character 'angsts' about it)

Question 12) Does your character have any of the following hair colours/styles?

A) Hair that changes colour (5 points +3 if it's waist length or longer)?

B) Purple hair (4 points +3 if it's waist length or longer)?

C) Blue hair ( 4 points +3 if it's waist length or longer)?

D) Silver/gold hair (5 points +3 if it's waist length or longer)?

E) Pink hair (3 points +3 if it's waist length or longer)?

F) Emo style hair (Of ANY colour, 4 points)

G) Any other unusual colours? (3 points, if it's rainbow +5)

H) Hair that took more than a line to describe? (2 points + 3 if it's waist length or longer)

Question 13) Does your character have any of the following eye colours?

A) Eyes that change colour? (5 points)

B) Red eyes? ( 5 points)

C) Golden eyes? (5 points)

D) Silver eyes? (5 points)

E) Pink eyes? (4 points)

F) Odd eyes? ( 4 points)

G) Any other unusual colours? (3 points, if they're rainbow +5)

Question 14) And what colour skin do they have?

A) An even tan shudder (5 points)

B) Pearly/deathly pale without good reason (e.g. never going outside)? ( 5 points)

C) Albino? (3 points)

D) Black? (- 3, no one EVER has any black OC's, why?)

E) A highly unusual skin tone e.g. Lavender? (5 points)

Question 15) Onto names now, is your OC called any of the following (or anything similar):

A) Raven? (5 points)

B) Any Japanese name? (5 points)

C) A noun as a name? ( 4 points)

D) A weirdly spelt name? ( 3 points)

E) No name? (5 points)

F) A homunculus with a name that isn't; Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Pride, Wrath, Sloth or Envy, but another crappy attempt at a sin name like 'depression' (5 points+3 if your character is actually called Depression)

G) The last name of an animal or magical creature? (4 points)

H) Cirle (5 points and four turns on the rack)

Question 15) Is your character:

A) Demon/part demon? ( 4 points)

B) Angel/part angel? (4 points)

C) A vampire? ( 5 points)

D) Any other magical being? ( 4 points. If they're a leprechaun/dwarf then -3 points)

E) Royalty? ( 4 points)

F) Revered? (4 points)

G) or do they have a demon (etc) inside of them? (4 points)

Question 16) (if more than one applies take points from both and add together) Does your character:

A) Have the same name as you? ( 5 points)

B) Have the same name as your username on any site? ( 4 points)

C) Have the same name as an anime character? ( 5 points)

D) Have a name you REALLY want? (3 points)

E) Have the same name as your boyfriend/girlfriend? (5 points)

F) Look exactly like you? ( 5 points)

G) Look like another anime character? ( 5 points)

H) Look how you'd REALLY like to look? ( 5 points)

I) Look like your boyfriend/girlfriend? (4 points)

J) Look like a female/male/evil/good version of a canon character? (5 points)

Question 17) Faults?

A) If it took you over ten seconds to think of _any_ faults ( 5 points)

B) If it took you over ten seconds to think of more than three faults ( 4 points +1 if you could only think of one or two)

C) If it took you more than six seconds to think of one fault ( 3 points)

D) 'What's a fault?' (5 points and removal of all toe and finger nails)

E) If you're still listing faults after two minutes (-5 points)

F) If you decided to be smart and gave a fault as 'She doesn't have any faults', 'she's too perfect' or anything else that isn't actually a fault INSTANT FAIL.

Question 18) Skills?

A) If you thought of a skill instantly (5 points)

B) If it took you three seconds or under ( 3 points)

C) If you are still listing skills after two minutes (10 points, add on score corresponding with time it took you to think of skill)

D) If you answered that your OC can 'do anything he/she puts her mind to' then INSTANT FAIL.

Question 19) What does you character think of the canon characters? (the statements can apply to any or ALL canon characters)

A) 'The good guys are nice and they _really _like me, although Ed was a little mean to me at first we've really come to care for each other' (5 points)

B) 'They like me, but they sure as hell know who's boss' (5 points)

C) 'They look after me because I'm lost/amnesic/ upset' ( 4 points)

D) 'We have SOOO much in common' (4 points)

E) 'Some of them seem jealous of my amazing skills' (5 points)

F) 'They want to harm me' (4 points)

G) 'I want to harm them (4 points)

H) 'They're amazed by me' (5 points)

I) 'They pity me' (4 points)

J) none of the above (0 points)

Question 20) Does your character do any of the following;

A) Behave in a particularly rebellious way? (4 points)

B) Clash with Ed? (5 points)

C) Speak a different language occasionally? (5 points, if it's Japanese +3 and +1 for every Japanese term/phrase etc you used in the story, not counting speech)

D) Attract attention ALL the time? (5 points)

I think I'll leave it there...time to work out the final scores!

160+ your character is as Sue as they come, remove all traces of your character and yourself from the net until you are rehabilitated.

120-159 PLEASE stop writing now, delete you story and begin again with a TOLERABLE character.

90-119 Your character needs A LOT of work, either begin again or rewrite your current character

60-89 your character is a Mary Sue, but is most likely salvageable with a few tweaks

0-59 your character is non sue-borderline sue, remember to be careful with your planning and avoid taboo and stereotypical designs.

I hope this test is useful to you all, if you have any further questions about your OC's (like telling me their statement on canon characters so I can rate it, for example) then either ask in your review or email me. Happy writing.


End file.
